Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Move On


Hello Everyone !!

I broke up with Emma Watson last night.
It was hurt full !! 
For her.
I am Batman, I dont have any feelings.
Ahhh If I dont have any feelings then how come she fell in love with me.

As a good writer I should go up, erase something and make it look sensible but as I am not a good writer =D, So to hell with you guys, your name is not "New York Times".
Phak You !!.

Now after the starter, I will come to the main course.
We, Human Being, tend to attach to things.
As Newton said one body of mass attracts another.
That MadaFaka was totally right.
I am not talking in literal meaning.
Why even am I explaining. :/

Well We, Humans, dont let things go.
What we do is we try to make things work even when are beyond repair.
Just like if you got Cancer, your parents will waste their money on chemothrapy :-p.

You know I will ask you a simple question.
Why does anyone want to be with someone ??
If you answered that you like making the other person happy then Sadly I will have to say that its the wrong answer, dude you need to watch 
"Millions ways to die in West".

The correct answer is "The dress is Blue and Black".

One should stay with someone only because he or she can watch "Dumb and Dumber to" and still find it hilarious. 

One advice to every lover out there.
When you are in love, never trust your judgement.
Love is Blind !!
It truly is !!

Before coming to any conclusion, Wait atleast 3 days.
Dont take my saying lightly Sister.

So where were we ...
(Mean While Batman Scrolled Up)

One cannot live his life trying to make the other person happy.
Life is too short to live on somone else's term.
You need to know one thing, If you are frequently fighting with your soul mate then its time to move on. Who wants to fight dude ? Who want to get sad ?? One only wants to be pampered, want to have fun, want to laugh end less.


Another problem with our generation is that we just jump to those three magical words only after a week. Dude, Brother, Sister don’t do that. That’s very immature and stupid !!

For some love would be holding his baby for the first time, for others love would be sleeping in the lap of their girl friend and be unable to see her face !!

Please ignore that :-p !!


I really need to work on staying on the topic !!
And I need to start using less Explanation marks aswell !!


Guys Guys Guys !!
Please keep things simple.
If you fight then try no to fight.
If you keep fighting try to take a break.
If you enjoy the break, don’t go back.
Because you need to think of the present first.
It is all about living in the moment.

Be selfish dude.
Give your first priority to yourself.
Only yourself.

The problem is that when we are in love we forget that there is also the population of 7.5 billion in the world. We limit our mind to our mate only. And thats very injurious to health. We dont like change, we tend to stay with people we have been with for a long time, even if we dont enjoy it. Maybe thats the way we are made, but its wrong darling.

Always Always Always love your self baby,
Cause if you dont then who will sweetie ??

I will end the blog by saying:
If you don’t like somewhere then move
You are not a tree.

Goodnight dude.
Stay Happy.

Friday, 13 February 2015

Love is in the Air


Hello Lovers

Its a Rocket ?
Its a Plane ?
Its a Alien ?
It is Love in the air !!

Its Valentine and since every other guy is writing about it, being only a 2 blogs old blogger, i thought it is my duty, ummmm naa "duty" does not describe the exact feeling,
Ummmmmm
Hmmmmm
Oh I got it.
yes Compelled, Compelled exactly. I am compelled to write something about love.

Given that I am single.
Half or my female readers, would be smiling with one side of their lip, streaching till their ear right now XD. And And how can I forget our beloved Dadu people aswell :-p. For prople who dont know what Dadu is, Legends say that Its a place full of Gay people, It is said even the birds fly with one wing over there.

Given that I am single.
And I am that because Bruce Wayne cannnot have a girlfriend.
I need to save Gotham.
And just for the record, Gomez was with me before she went to Bieber.
Apni Salena yaar !!

Coming back to the topic.
Love is in the air. Its valentine guys, Day of the lover.
I will be giving a couple of advices. Read them, They might help you.

One advice to all my young friends out there, instead of finding cornor, this time do something more meaning full. I am not against kissing, But if I would have been a girl, I would have wanted to be kissed in yacht in the sea, or on the terrace in the moonlight. Be romentic guys, Being a pervert is depressing.

Get flowers, Though this is very cheesy, and I myself never gave Selena flowers, But this is something I will recommened you to do. Girls like flowers, As we like driving fast, Girls like flowers, Chocolate. Get your girlfriend heart shaped chocolate, this will really make her smile. If she doesnt, Give her the advice to change her gender.

Second advice would be to be sweet. If you cant take your women out, talk nicely to her, make her laugh, if you cant make good jokes, watch something funny, if you cant do that then tickle her, Just make her laugh. Everybody loves raymond and Everybody loves laughing.
Compliment her.
Tell her she looks so amazing despite the 5 inch out tummy she has.
Tell her She is most beautifull women ever. Womens always buy that and this make them happy.
Make your women happy dude, because for every thing else there is a master card ;-).

Thid Advice:
Write a love letter to your girl.
Do something different.
Get her Bangles.
Maker her feel like a women, Dont let her walk, carry her to your apartment.
Tell her you want your children to come out from there and then poke ur finger in her stomach.
Watch a classic romentic instead of going to watch Roy.
Be Stupid. Be Differnet. Be Romentic.

Since I am a muslim.
I will recommed you guys not to have unlawful sex.
Trust me Sex is over-rated.
Bruce wayne has had so many women, you wont even belive if i told you the number.
I will repeat Sex is over-rated.
You should be more focused on not to break her heart rather then intending to break something else.

In the end I will give the advice to my single readers.
Dont i act like half of the world read my blogs ??
Being optimistic is bliss =D.
whoever is single, dude if you have nothing else to do go to the Airport.
Its one of my favorite place.
Relative coming to see their loved ones.
Childrens waiting for their father to come out from the terminal and they will run cand ling on to his legs. Wives hugging their Husbands. A son touching the feet of her mother who have just came after the pilgrimage. =)

Love is in the air !!
 


Friday, 6 February 2015

We take life too Seriously.

Hey my non existing followers =D
I am Back
Go all GaGa =D

Calm down now.
Reader you know what, Life is hard guys.
But this is not a place where we would talk about gloomy things.
Now you are suppose to

Lift your hands and Say
"Hurrah Hez Here"
And act as the Resputin song is playing in the background

The problem with us is that we take life too seriously.
Though life demands to be taken serious.
But not as much as the majority of people do.

If a boy gets his heart broken he is going to be depressed about for a long time.
If a girl gets her heart broken she is going to sulk in her pink pjs and eat ice cream for the next couple of weeks.

I might be exaggerating things, or might not at all be right.
but this is my perspective and this is how i look at life.
As Gandhi once said
"7 billion people, 7 billion perspectives"

We have this tendency to dwell in our sorrows.
so here is what i will discuss about things to do when one is depressed.

1-
First of all make a nice collection of songs.
Songs which makes you go crazy.
Songs which makes you dance.
You have no idea how good music is lifting ones mood.
But you only need to have those song which makes you dance.
Play them in full volume and go Crazy.

2-
Don’t stay alone, go out, call a friend who is good with making jokes.
Pick him up, tell him you are depress, tell him you will buy him a happy deal if he makes you laugh.
And trust me, no matter how good your friend is, he or she will always be famished for a free happy meal. I always am =D.

3-
Tell your crush that you are depress.
Though this is a risky thing to do, but come on this would be fun.
if only if are a boy.  (And a Girls are too vulnerable when they are depress.)
Because girls dig heart broken boys.
You never know when you might get lucky =D

4-
The most hard thing to do is to realize that no matter what depressing thing has happened, its not the end of the world. If your girlfriend broke up with you, move on, bus, train and a girl keeps coming one after another. If you failed an exam, dude study in the next attempt, crying wont change the result. If someone in your family died, well in that case listening to music would really be not appropriate  :-p. but in that case think of the deceased person in a better place now matter how drunk that person used to be.

5-
Watch funny videos. Peter Russel is a good comedian.
Or what ever you prefer. Just don’t think about the thing which is making you feel bad.
As Gandhi said
“No matter how strong the feeling is, it will go away after 3 days or 3 weeks. “
Smile dude, I have heard that is good for your metabolism as well.


So this brings us to the conclusion.
I hope to see you again after 7 days.
I hope you are smiling, 
If you are not, then its not my fault, I dont make good jokes on Friday.

Ummm Tata :-).

Sunday, 1 February 2015

Me Myself !!


Hello Guys

If you are reading this, consider your self the most luckiest breathing creature on this planet, or for a matter of fact any planet of the solar system =D. As I am the the prince in the shinning armour who is going to make you forget your problems, incase you are a girl. Because If i am good with anything, its that i am good with cracking jokes.

If you are a boy, then dude, I will recommend you to go and smoke a joint, thats the best remedy to all the problems =D.

Hi, I am Rafi.
I didnot wanted to tell you that, but I cannnot hide my email id, as I have this misconception that I am going to be a hot shot in blogging world and everyone will be dieing to contact me.

I am a software engineer.
And no, my full name is not Rafi Zuckerberg.

This is my first blog ever, so dont know what i am doing is right or not.
In the school days, whenever we are given the homework to write an essay, and as I was not the most creative kid in school, the only topic which could in my head was "Myself". That always did the job.

Ummm so i hope this again should do the job,
What do we say in the end of blog ??
Err follow me ?? :/

Well Take care
Smile.
Whoever is reading this.
Dude you are awesome !!
See you next week.
Tata.